Portrait of Abarai Renji
by Cheza-chan
Summary: All she wanted was his picture, nothing more. Had she gotten it, things might have turned out a little differently. [Requested OneShot]


**Title:** Portrait of Abarai Renji

**Author:** Cheza-chan

**Rating:** PG

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach. If I was married to Tite Kubo… I would never leave him. I would be his second shadow. In public, I'd worship the ground he walked on… (sobs silently)

**Author Note:** This… (laughs softly) This little baby was an idea created last night from my friend **Bomb-chan**, a fellow author here no, that's not her author name She went to Oni-Con in Texas a few days ago and was unable to capture a single image of an Abarai Renji cosplayer she thought was not only in a good costume, but was also cute. This is the revenge she requested I write for her; I had fun doing it.

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**_Portrait of Abarai Renji_**

Ichigo stood at the open window of his classroom, not really staring at the grounds below it. Some would have thought him dead on his feet had it not been for the faint movement of his chest. Every intake of breath came at ten-minute intervals and Rukia counted twenty minutes before the substitute Shinigami lost his patience. She closed her eyes and yawned loudly.

Ichigo turned sharply, a desk high above his head, and began threatening those sent from the Soil Society to assist him. "Why the hell do you have to be here?" he roared, the ceramic tiles cracking beneath his feet with every step he took. "Don't you think it's _way_ too obvious—you all being in the same room—making so much noise—"

"You're the loudest and attracting the most attention," Rukia drawled. In truth, all eyes _were_ locked on their small, intricate group. She raised her head and grinned at the enraged boy. Her grin broadened. 'He_ always had the worst timing._'

The door to the class 1-3 was thrown open suddenly and the spiky ponytail of bright red hair was the only thing visible over the top of the flung desk. "I hate you especially," Ichigo snarled, dusting off his hands. Yumichika glanced disinterestedly at the 6th Division vice-captain then continued his card game with Ikkaku.

"At least I'm not the only," a new voice said. Renji gave a full-body shudder and tore through the desk stuck to his face in his hurry to get to the window Ichigo had just abandoned. "Not so fast!" the young girl in black yelled, reaching behind her.

Ichigo's eyes widened at the spherical objects that flew by his face after the other Shinigami. "Is that…? Were those—"

"Move!"

Inoue's eyes widened as her friend and the substitute Shinigami was shoved aside into a cluster of desks. She glanced at the nonchalant Rangiku, a large sweat drop hanging from her head. "Who was that?" she asked softly.

"She calls herself 'Duo-chan' and has been after him for two days," Hitsugaya answered for his vice-captain. "They've been destroying the entire town. She even called herself a 'Shinigami'."

Rukia sat up straight, staring at the shorter figure. "Is she?" she inquired softly.

"So she self-proclaims," the captain mumbled, closing his eyes as he leaned back in his chair.

The airborne bombs exploded out in the courtyard and everyone gathered at the window save for the maniacally grinning Kurosaki boy and Rukia.

Renji leapt up onto the roof of the gymnasium and glanced over his shoulder. His eyes widened at the grenade heading in his direction at top speed. Duo-chan's grin was insanely wide at the explosion ripping through half of the building and rocking the ground she stood on; her long, tawny braid whipped about her.

"What do you have against me?" the redhead yelled through harsh coughs. Renji stepped from the dust. He squinted at the girl; his mind wandered, briefly, to where his sunglasses might be.

"You wouldn't let me take your picture!" Duo-chan just about screamed as she ran at the older man. Bomb after bomb after bomb left her, from whereabouts still unknown to the Soul Society Shinigami. "Every time I tried to," the young girl continued, "You weren't looking, or you were busy… and had to leave!"

"Sorry…?" Renji mumbled, eyes filled with intense confusion.

A flip was switched inside of the young girl and Duo-chan straightened herself into a casual posture. She reached inside of her black jacket with a smirk that sent chills down Abarai Renji's back.

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Dusk slowly fell on the ruins of Karakura High School. Renji's lengthy hair, the ponytail long gone, was sprawled out along the ground behind him, mimicking the blood he wished pooled out of him so his life could end now. His chest rose and fell sharply with every deep breath he took. Yards away lay his attacker, the young girl in a similar condition.

Two flashes went off and the pair opened their eyes weakly to stare up at the group of Shinigami and non-Shinigami alike. The smiling Kuchiki Rukia and scowling Kurosaki Ichigo both held their cameras for them to see.

"She dropped her phone… a few hours ago, and a call came through from her friend." The brunette positioned the device before her face once more. "Her message was: capture him and take lots of pictures. Smile," Rukia chirped in a falsely sweet voice.

The flashes went off again and both Renji and Duo-chan groaned, collapsing back onto the crater-ridden ground.

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**Author Note:** And with this lovely little drabble-type play of absolutely... pure, unadulterated nonsense, I have finally put myself on the Bleach scene... as I've tried so long to do. (bright smile)


End file.
